been in seattle about three weeks. met some fine people, but, i have a visceral feeling that it isnt my home. i like smelling roses, so i am heading out to portland, Seattle’s unemployed, more attractive, funner, easy little sister.

..

..

                                                    Seattle:

con– surprisingly for a city its size, and coffee consumption

it goes to bed at 9pm. cant do laundry past 8. no 24hr coffee shops.

 .

perk- i get the city virtually all to myself at night

 .

con-everything is way overpriced.

 .

perk-all my friends here have good jobs.

 .

con-i am a newish driver in the first place, so take that with

a grain of salt, but, the roads here are a god-damn nightmare.

and my mouse brain cant wrap around it.

 .

perk –people make references to books here, vs tv shows (like florida)

 .

con-surprisingly, bartenders are not very nice. i feel that 90% of bartending is to be a friend to those who have none. its all about filling the deep chasm of existential loneliness, and pouring some booze in said hole.  i am extremely low maintenance. having bartended, and worked years in hospitality, i know that i am not being an obnoxious fuck. i get drunk and over tip if you display some sort of humanity. here they just pour your drink, run away, (when the bar is empty) and give a demeanor of wanting you to leave.

 .

perk-i save money by not over tipping

 .

con-i keep getting mistaken for a homeless person or a drug dealer

 .

perk- people try to give me sandwiches and i know a backup career in drug dealing will be fruitful.

 .

con-people dress like shit here. (so why are college kids giving me sandwiches on the street!?)

 .

perk- if you are in your 40’s and you’ve always wanted to dye your hair manic panic purple, you wont stand out. if you would like to leave your house with flared yoga pants, and khaki cargo shorts on top of them, its perfectly acceptable.  

 .

con-people take a holy than thou stance on their greenness. i can only relate it to the feeling you get when you see a housewife with restylane lips wearing $300 of lululemon clothes meditating for inner peace in a yoga class. sure, its great if you recycle your organic yogurt cups. but, to not realize you are human, and therefore, by default, an environmental monster, is irritating.

.

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